A Journey of Connecting to Intuition
Updated: Aug 24, 2020
Before I was a Counsellor, I was a Tarot Reader.
I started out just reading for myself. At that point in my life, I was very removed from my intuition. I was struggling to trust my thoughts, emotions, and body; recovering from sexual trauma and reclaiming my identity. There were so many parts of me that I wanted to connect to. Spirituality, sexuality, gender identity; I wanted to let these parts of me, that I had never gotten a chance to express, out.
From a young age, I wanted to explore my spirituality separate from my parent's beliefs. The first time I felt drawn to the tarot as a tool was when I was 12. I was in a mall in Campbell River, and came across a pop-up store that was stocked with crystals, tarot decks, and other items that you would find in my bedroom today! However, this was my first time seeing a tarot deck. I don't remember what art was covering the box, but my hand drew near to the box. I almost picked it up, the felt connection to it was calling to my being, but I didn't. Even though it was my first time seeing a deck, I knew I wouldn't be allowed to keep such a thing in my parents' home.
Fast forward to a Maverick who had recently moved to Burnaby, living separate from my parents, I finally had my first tarot deck. It was the Starchild Akashic Tarot by Danielle Noel (you can follow her @daniellenoel.art on Instagram!), and the soft colour palette and imagery really spoke to that point of my life. I was sensitive, vulnerable, and Danielle's art gave me a vector to explore that with gentleness. The first few readings that I did for me were clumsy. I followed the guide book closely, I used spreads that others created with the questions they proposed. I wasn't using my intuition at all. The intent I had to connect to my internal knowing was not being honoured.
I knew I wasn't acting in alignment, I knew that if I wanted to get the most out of using that tool that tarot is, I had to let go of my belief that there was a 'right way' to read the tarot. I had the definition-style knowledge of the cards already (my special interest became tarot cards for quite some time), but I wasn't looking at what personal message the cards might be trying to offer me. When I first let go of the perfectionism and looked at the cards as art, as pieces of wisdom that I was connecting to, I received a message that my knowledge wouldn't have brought me. The power of my intuition was finally acknowledged by my whole being.
Tarot and oracle cards are now something I incorporate into my routine. I draw cards for each month, I do yearly forecasts, and when I have questions that I want clarity on, I consult my decks. It's become a part of my life that I wouldn't want to be without.
What are some things that you use to connect to your Self? Is there any part of your self-care routine that you wouldn't want to live without?
Maverick Lumen (they/them) is a Counsellor & Tarot Reader who is passionate about seeing queer, trans, and non-binary clients receive the welcoming and understanding support they deserve. Their practice is founded on lived experience and anti-oppression, all while examining how the body and mind can be connected to uncover the stories that we have heard about and have told ourselves.